The Passage

And time itself, too, will one day make a mockery of us; our attempts at grandeur, pompousness, bullying, selfishness and narcissistic tendencies.

Yes, time itself imposes on us the greatest imaginable horror, that of an unstoppable forward motion in which the body decays bit by bit and the soul fights bravely on for eternal renewal, captive within a beautifully flawed prison of delicate flesh and bone.  And I dream of the day when I will once again be able to shed a tear, because I have become immunized against the dreadfulness of our dismal actions toward one another.  I am no romantic.  I am no idealist.  I am not religious, nor spiritual.  Yet I am confounded each day how we, as a species, made it this far.  I am confounded when I look at the purity of heart of my son of thirteen months and know that I have no real alternatives to the massive pain of current relationships in the world.  I am ashamed that neither I nor my generation has managed to overcome our infantile behaviour tward each other, despite our once held wisdom of how things could and should be being just beneath the surface of our daily consciousness.  Instead, we place ownership on feelings and fight each other to the death or worse over these ridiculous emotions we scarcely understand.

But I know this - time will make a mockery of all these lunacies.  Time: the great equalizer whose consequence we can all fear equally.

How is any of this relevant?  You may well ask.  I have had a lasting fascination and adoration for decaying buildings, long-since abandoned and crumbling under the weight of both the elements and time.  They are full of hope and dispair simultaneously.  They are symbolic of our ridiculously highfalutin images of ourselves.  They are reminders of how imortant humility is; the underlying strength of patience; the frailty of our dreams; and , most vitally for me, the sheer beauty that arises from blemishes.  Each tick and tock of the second hand is an opportunity to witness the remarkable.

And the apple dangling before my ego's cart is thus - to capture the spirit and physicality of those decaying buildings in human form.  For what else produces the slant of those shoulders, the depth of these lines, the magnificence of our bodily expression when it finds honesty... if it is not time?

The Image Above:

As I walked out of my work premisis one day, I saw this locust impaled on a cactus leaf.  I have never seen anything like it before, nor since that day.  My best guess is that he was blown into the plant by the wind, as it was the time of year when strong, hot desert winds blow here.

More Photos of Helga

My internet connection is still not working in the evenings, so today I upload from work. Hehehehehe.

Here are some more photos from the shoot with Helga last week.

I went for a straightforward portrait-like shot here to illustrate Helga's face.

Helga wanted a lot of B&W shots (which I ended up not delivering because the colors came out really nicely in a lot of shots). This was shot with the intention of being converted to B&W, and although I am no expert in that style, I was happy enough with the results.

It was really hot out in the desert, which made for a largely subdued shoot, but we did have a short session where we upped the energy level a bit.

A wind was gusting at this location, blowing Helga's hair into her face. I didn't mind too much, but also wanted to get some shots of her face without the hair in it, so asked her to shake her head to clear the hair from her face - click!

Definitely not one of my favorites here, but interesting enough. As you can see, the light was extremely harsh and I was trying to use it to create a strong effect in the shot.

Mixed Bag

I am, and have been for the last couple of days, feeling like a bag full of mixed emotions regarding my photography.

The results of the shoot with Helga were very positive. I got quite a bit of material that I was happy with and even managed to surprise myself once or twice. Helga too, was pleasantly surprised and happy with the results.

On Saturday the 14th I shot a wedding. I was not the official photographer and had met neither the couple nor the official photographer before the time. I was only there to shoot, with the couple's permission, some shots for my portfolio. I would give them a few shots in return for the opportunity to take the photos.
Because it was a 'for free' gig, I did not hire the lenses and camera I would for a paid gig. Instead, I took my analogue lenses and D50 body, and borrowed my boss's Sony camera (which I have not shot with seriously before).
My first concern came when it became apparent that the official photographer did not know who I was or that I would be taking photographs too.
The rest, as they say, is a disaster.

I don't wish to go into specifics here. Despite the fact that this is quite a personal professional blog, I will not get into mudslinging or blame-games. Suffice is to say that I learned a number of invaluable lessons never to be repeated.

The most important lesson that I learned though, was that I am responsible for making sure that I get an end product that the couple/client will be happy with, and have to do everything in my power to make sure that I take that responsibility, from pre-wedding meetings to taking the photographs on the day to presenting them in the most effective manner I can. If anything goes wrong to the point of not being able to deliver, I must assume responsiblity (barring Acts of God and the like).

I am also stuck on the editing of the fashion shoot of 30 Jan-01 Feb. I received most of the go-aheads from Beatrice yesterday. I took a look at her choices and can quite frankly say that few of them would have been my first choices. To add to matters, I now have very strict guidelines to follow in editing (this is for a professional fashion portfolio after all) and am wondering if I will be able to follow those guidelines to achieve a look and feel in the pics that I will be satisfied to call my product. Hopefully I am only having a case of pre-editing nerves.

And so, seeing that my internet connection has been down in the evenings again and I haven't posted anything for a while, I'm going to add some pics from Helga's shoot to today's post.

Enjoy!

This is currently my favorite shot of the day. I really like the
movement, texture and energy of the shot.





Another shot that I personally like a lot. I enjoy the perspective and unusual lines of the composition, as well as the shadow of her hand extending beyond the confines of the photographed area.





Here's Helga looking (to me anyway) a hell of a lot like Courney Love. What I like about it is the almost clinical studio/setup feel disturbed by the crack in the wall near the bottom left of the shot (pic was taken in an abandoned building out in the desert, and Helga is holding a vandalized light switch that is still hanging from a broken wall - it reminded me of an old-fashioned microphone). And you gotta dig that hat!